Dis is obviously not a rip-off from ‘MTV Cribs’.
Bringing you CCTV Cribs (China Central Television)
Our home aint like no place we stayed in NZ, it’s got flow-rescent lights cos dey easy on da bills, we got kitchen benches dats about mid thigh high, we got a massive KONKA TV mano-factured from da one and only, and steel bars fawr $ecurity.
Chuck on yo Hello Kitty slippers and i’ll show you round…
Dis izz da communal area where we lounge and dine. We got a 3-sea-tuh leather couch, da usual table an’ chairs, plus a fridge on da left cos it don’t fit in the kitchen.
Here we take a closer peep at da giant airr conditioner/heater. It’s not only big, but powerful. Da microwave lives on top cos same story – don’t fit in da kitchen.
Dis KONKA TV I talked about earlier izz manu-factured straight from China. Sadly it don’t get use so often cos wid da internet nowadays, we stream everythin’ on our laptop.
Lets move in on da kitchen. It’s AIite, but a bit small. An da benches izz extremely short (even fo me and I aint tall!). Comes up to Alan’s thighs so he sez he has a hard time cookin.
Extractor fans haha old school! An’ of course dis kitchen izz equipped wit a wok and wok spatula.
We cayn’t drink da water straight from taps here unless it be boiled, or yo get yaself ill. So we stock up on deese 2 liter bottled waters to keep us hydrated.
Dis is where all the “harrrd” work goes down for yo lesson planning/facebooking. A bedroom in which we’ve transferred into an office.
When washing our clothes, it’s not as easy as punchin’ a few buttons, we gots ta make sure this pipe is on the bathroom floor so the water can drain out.
Here’s room number two, we DIY’d it up and turned it into a dryin room fo’ our clothes, cos we got no balcony or nothin. Dere’s a heat pump too, so it’s all G.
Finally, here’s room number 3, da bed-room. Da Chinese say a hard bed’s good for yo’ back. I don’t mind it being firm, but dis one’s like rock. Nothin a bit of foam can’t fix.
Ahhhh gots ta say, I doo love some of da furnishings. We got big chairs, small chairs, medium sized chairs….
Honestly, we’s couldn’t feel more safe bein on da fourth floor an’ havin deese steel bars out da windows. Security yo!
Thanks so much fo’ visitin our crib in China.